There has existed for a long time now, the question of are we alone in the universe or are there others out there? Never mind how you feel about how the universe got here, everyone has their own beliefs about that. I'm talking about aliens. Now, I don't mean the grouchy, irritable alien life forms that take over your teenagers' bodies until they reach their early 20's. That is a temporary condition, God willing. I'm also not talking about the muppet-like ones from 80's sitcoms or movies. I'm referring to the ones that have inspired many a book, movie, television show and if you believe in such things, the conspiracy theory connected to our beloved government. I have decided that I do believe we are not alone, but not because I am not allowed to be a tourist in Roswell, NM, or any other restricted secret place. I believe in aliens in far more practical ways, and I believe they come to my house on a regular basis.
How do I know this? I know this for many reasons. For example, I look around my house and find piles of clutter all over the place. I am quite willing to own up to my own clutter but the other clutter? Books, papers, toys, shoes, food messes, trash...all not where it belongs, and it is a great mystery to all who live here. No one knows who made the messes, just that it wasn't them. Hence, I have no other choice than to believe that there is an alien who comes to party when we are all sleeping. I have to give credit, it or they never wake me up, so they could be considered most thoughtful guests, or would be if they cleaned up after themselves. On second thought, anyone who comes to my house to party and doesn't invite me is a rude one, indeed!
I believe our alien friend also has a sock fetish, albeit a somewhat upscale one. It is never the stained, worn out, stretched out or holes in the toes & heels socks that go missing. Oh no. It is usually Chris' good socks that turn up missing; the ones he wears to work. I believe the alien only has one leg, too. It's either that or the alien doesn't believe in matched sets, for it only steals one of each pair that it fancies. I find it hard to believe that I could possibly lose one of so many pairs of socks without help. I may not be the Brady Bunch housekeeper, but I am also not the slovenly wife that you see changing spots with the uppity, super anal-retentive clean freaky one on wifeswap, either.
Our alien must have a superstition or fear of empty containers, too. How else to explain the teaspoon of juice or milk left in the nearly empty container that is constantly found in my refrigerator? Perhaps the alien has a fear of cleaning; after all, everyone knows that if you finish the pitcher of drink or the container of food, you have to then wash it. Our alien does not appear to have working knowledge of trash cans or recycle bins, either. I come down almost daily to find my kitchen counters cluttered up with food wrappers, cereal boxes that need to be flattened and recycled, dirty pans to wash, drinking glasses and plates to be rinsed out for the dishwasher....I am not my children's maid and I sure don't want to clean up after alien parties, either, especially since I was not invited.
I have learned that aliens must have a sense of humor, though. Every time I watch one of my kids run around the house, (usually the boy) frantically searching for some item they "have to have" for school or whatever, since it is impossible for the kids to consider that something can't be found because THEY didn't put it away properly... I find myself thinking, it must therefore, be the fault of our alien, playing hide and seek with their belongings, just to mess with their heads. If I didn't have to hear the yelling and bickering and blaming one another for the missing items, I might find the entire thing completely entertaining. I might even make myself a small bowl of popcorn before I sit and watch the show. I will freely confess, though, that when it is I who is running around like the village idiot while searching for something that I have misplaced, it is not so funny!
One idea that I am kicking around is the thought of leaving a sort of sacrificial offering for our alien friend. Perhaps I can set out before I go to bed one night, a plateful of old socks or some junky snacks and a note proposing that the missing mates to Chris' socks be returned, a barter of sorts. Otherwise, I may have to play hardball and leave out a mop, vacuum and some dish soap instead. If anyone has better ideas, please let me know. Just don't tell me there are no aliens out there because I may just have to drown you in my pile of mismatched socks.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
pass the Miracle whip
Miracles....what usually comes to mind for many people are the major events, like the parting of the Red Sea by Moses, or a person who conquers a terminal disease or overcomes a chronic ailment in a way that the medical field cannot explain away. Those are all completely real and completely valid, but for people like me, I cannot at the moment, relate to those events. I have discovered that there are miracles all around us every day, whether big or small, if only I take the time to look around and notice. Miracles to me need not be something so big you read about it in the news. To me, miracles can be defined by the notion of divine intervention. If something unexpected and good happens, or something bad is somehow averted, that is divine intervention and therefore miraculous.
Things like my son making the bus when he almost rolls out of bed when it's time to go outside and the bus driver happens to be running late that day...that's a miracle. Sometimes it's me somehow not forgetting to mail all my bills on time and not forgetting any appointments...sometimes, it's me getting to have my shower early enough to walk outside to the bus stop with Alice and NOT have my bathrobe and pj's still on...walking outside or driving in my car and seeing either a rainbow after a rain shower, or fall foliage so stunning it leaves me speechless..that is a miracle. Any time I have had a close call while driving and remained accident free, that is a miracle.
I have also been the recipient of more significant divine interventions this year, though. Went from the brink of divorce to actually looking forward to celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary on Easter Sunday this year. Talk about a great day for a fresh start. We also qualified for the funding to allow us to afford help that is now coming into our house to help us all become a real family for the first time in a significant way. It's early in the process but it has left me with so much hope that things will be better, and they are already changing for the better.
The most recent and very newsworthy miracle is taking place with Matthew. I am sure it has something to do with the help we are getting but I know there is some divine guidance going on, too. He came home from school today and on his own, has been cleaning in his room. If you know anything about my kid, you will know that this is in no way making light of miraculous events...This is truly a miraculous event, considering how hard it is for him to throw anything away of any kind. I am starting to think that maybe God offers a "Miracle of the Month" club that no one told me about and someone in the know gave me a gift membership or something, hahaha. If so, I'll have to make sure I keep renewing it every so often. It is certainly healthier than candy of the month, or junk food of the month, or whatever else one can conjure up.
I don't know what the rest of the year has in store for me but even if I am not granted any more miracles the rest of 2011, I have enough hope and peace inside to carry me through. The miracles of the first part of this year have been pretty great and I am quite thankful for them.
Things like my son making the bus when he almost rolls out of bed when it's time to go outside and the bus driver happens to be running late that day...that's a miracle. Sometimes it's me somehow not forgetting to mail all my bills on time and not forgetting any appointments...sometimes, it's me getting to have my shower early enough to walk outside to the bus stop with Alice and NOT have my bathrobe and pj's still on...walking outside or driving in my car and seeing either a rainbow after a rain shower, or fall foliage so stunning it leaves me speechless..that is a miracle. Any time I have had a close call while driving and remained accident free, that is a miracle.
I have also been the recipient of more significant divine interventions this year, though. Went from the brink of divorce to actually looking forward to celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary on Easter Sunday this year. Talk about a great day for a fresh start. We also qualified for the funding to allow us to afford help that is now coming into our house to help us all become a real family for the first time in a significant way. It's early in the process but it has left me with so much hope that things will be better, and they are already changing for the better.
The most recent and very newsworthy miracle is taking place with Matthew. I am sure it has something to do with the help we are getting but I know there is some divine guidance going on, too. He came home from school today and on his own, has been cleaning in his room. If you know anything about my kid, you will know that this is in no way making light of miraculous events...This is truly a miraculous event, considering how hard it is for him to throw anything away of any kind. I am starting to think that maybe God offers a "Miracle of the Month" club that no one told me about and someone in the know gave me a gift membership or something, hahaha. If so, I'll have to make sure I keep renewing it every so often. It is certainly healthier than candy of the month, or junk food of the month, or whatever else one can conjure up.
I don't know what the rest of the year has in store for me but even if I am not granted any more miracles the rest of 2011, I have enough hope and peace inside to carry me through. The miracles of the first part of this year have been pretty great and I am quite thankful for them.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Make New Friends and Keep the Old......
This week has been one of discovery and re-discovery...I began the week re-connecting with a childhood friend whom I had lost touch with over the years but missed just the same. I was delighted earlier this month to find Renee on facebook and living just a few miles from me! We met up at a dessert place that had coffee/tea and made crepes....I had an apple pie crepe and she had the strawberry/nutella crepe. Boy was that yummy! It was a good thing that we chose to sit outside because the place closed at 9 and by the time we were done talking, laughing and getting pictures, it was nearly 10:30! We will definitely get together again as soon as we can, and it will not take 22 years this time! What a blessing that Renee and I are still friends after all these years!!!
The week also included some real help for our house, for Matthew. Finally. We have a team of people who are coming here for the next several months to work with Matthew individually, work with us and all 5 of us, the intent being to help us put our family back together where we can function as a family and be what I had once dreamed of so long ago. The name of the agency really says it all...Hope Services, and for the first time in many, many moons, that is what I have inside. Hope...and to my astonishment, joy in my spirits.
Hope and joy. These are 2 feelings that do not come naturally to me and they have not come easily to me all these years. It feels quite strange to feel emotions other than panic, disconnect and sadness, those being so much of what I had become accustomed to over the years, my auto-pilot emotions if you will. I have come to realize that hope and joy are a by-product of my spiritual journey. Church, religion and the Lord while I was growing up were not what they were intended to be. For me, they were a chore; something I had to do to stay out of trouble at home. The end result for me was once I turned of legal age, I steered clear of the whole thing. I did internalize some of the important things I had learned, however....how to treat others with kindness and respect, to show compassion and for the most part, not to behave like a jerk toward anyone. This disconnect eventually caught up to me once our struggles with autism in the house kicked into high gear. The more stress our troubles at home caused, the more alone I felt, to the point where I finally felt completely emptied out. Something was missing inside me and it was something big. That something to keep me not just going, but to be, not merely exist each day.
Since last year, I have slowly worked my way back toward letting God's presence back into my life. It has been a bumpy journey but has not ended, (although I do need to pause every so often to ask for directions, hahaha) He sent me a big brother (thank you Grant!) to bolster my spirits and get me pointed in the right direction and I found myself attending church again, this time on my terms. It was the first time in a long time that I found some peace while I sorted everything else out. The blessings that He has shown me since then have been very humbling to me. For the first time in a long time, we found people who instead of turning us away, have told us "yes, we can help you; we can help your son". The most significant blessings of this have been Matthew qualifying for help finding and keeping a job once he completes his schooling, and we qualified for funding assistance for an in-home program that will help us all put our family back together. This in-home service would not have been affordable to us for the recommended time frame, had we not gotten the funding help. I am 100% convinced that God interceded on our behalf for this, and I know He is the reason we found out about it, let alone was able to sign on for it. Miracles don't have to part an ocean to be real, and I know I was granted one here. It is not going to be the easiest 5 or 6 months ahead here, but when it takes a long time for a family to get this out of sync, it will take time to make things right. But I have hope now. and some joy in my heart. Two emotions that will take some getting used to, but I like how they feel and I look forward to getting better acquainted.
So here's to my friend Renee....and to my new friends Hope and Joy. Please stick around a while..........there's room in my heart for all of you.
The week also included some real help for our house, for Matthew. Finally. We have a team of people who are coming here for the next several months to work with Matthew individually, work with us and all 5 of us, the intent being to help us put our family back together where we can function as a family and be what I had once dreamed of so long ago. The name of the agency really says it all...Hope Services, and for the first time in many, many moons, that is what I have inside. Hope...and to my astonishment, joy in my spirits.
Hope and joy. These are 2 feelings that do not come naturally to me and they have not come easily to me all these years. It feels quite strange to feel emotions other than panic, disconnect and sadness, those being so much of what I had become accustomed to over the years, my auto-pilot emotions if you will. I have come to realize that hope and joy are a by-product of my spiritual journey. Church, religion and the Lord while I was growing up were not what they were intended to be. For me, they were a chore; something I had to do to stay out of trouble at home. The end result for me was once I turned of legal age, I steered clear of the whole thing. I did internalize some of the important things I had learned, however....how to treat others with kindness and respect, to show compassion and for the most part, not to behave like a jerk toward anyone. This disconnect eventually caught up to me once our struggles with autism in the house kicked into high gear. The more stress our troubles at home caused, the more alone I felt, to the point where I finally felt completely emptied out. Something was missing inside me and it was something big. That something to keep me not just going, but to be, not merely exist each day.
Since last year, I have slowly worked my way back toward letting God's presence back into my life. It has been a bumpy journey but has not ended, (although I do need to pause every so often to ask for directions, hahaha) He sent me a big brother (thank you Grant!) to bolster my spirits and get me pointed in the right direction and I found myself attending church again, this time on my terms. It was the first time in a long time that I found some peace while I sorted everything else out. The blessings that He has shown me since then have been very humbling to me. For the first time in a long time, we found people who instead of turning us away, have told us "yes, we can help you; we can help your son". The most significant blessings of this have been Matthew qualifying for help finding and keeping a job once he completes his schooling, and we qualified for funding assistance for an in-home program that will help us all put our family back together. This in-home service would not have been affordable to us for the recommended time frame, had we not gotten the funding help. I am 100% convinced that God interceded on our behalf for this, and I know He is the reason we found out about it, let alone was able to sign on for it. Miracles don't have to part an ocean to be real, and I know I was granted one here. It is not going to be the easiest 5 or 6 months ahead here, but when it takes a long time for a family to get this out of sync, it will take time to make things right. But I have hope now. and some joy in my heart. Two emotions that will take some getting used to, but I like how they feel and I look forward to getting better acquainted.
So here's to my friend Renee....and to my new friends Hope and Joy. Please stick around a while..........there's room in my heart for all of you.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
another unplanned family visit (but just as nice)
Maria and I took the spontaneous idea to go up to Sara's one night and return the next afternoon, just so we could grab a chance to see Diana (and Mom, Andrew, Ella & Owen again too). It was a whirlwind short but sweet visit, and fun as always. Chances for the 4 of us sisters to be together are not frequent enough so we try to grab them as often as the opportunity presents itself.
Now....here is where it gets silly...and fun. Just like when we were kids, Maria and I found another way to inject some hilarity and adventure into our existence. We left Sara's in the afternoon to head home shortly after Diana headed to the airport. We intended to make a couple stops on the way back to Ikea and Wegmans(esp. Wegmans!) so Maria plugged in her GPS and off we went. Had a grand time in both places, which offered up enough of a time delay that we basically missed the usual crawl to get out of town on 95 south. Maria has satellite radio in her car and we quickly found ourselves a way to amuse us and make the time pass by. The love channel, filled with an all you can eat buffet of the most vomit inducing sappy songs out there, just in time for Valentine's Day. We decided to make a game of it, trying to predict either the next pukey sappy song or artist coming up next at any given time and boy we were not disappointed, either. We got a dose of Air Supply, the Commodores, Anne Murray and Neil Diamond, just to name a few. After a while, we had to stop for gas since the little gas light was about to come on, so we pulled off at an exit to fill up.
I should point out that we did not exit too far off the highway, so when we were ready to resume our drive home, we took exception to the amount of miles our GPS told us to drive to get back to it. I spotted an actual road sign pointing to 95, so we chose to ignore the GPS and followed the signs. Our vomitous love song game hence re-commenced and we were quite entertained for the ensuing half hour. We noticed that the GPS kept adding time to our estimated arrival back at Maria's house and kept trying to get us to use various exits; how ridiculous! She wanted us to take a longer way home, so we thought. We continued to ignore her. Eventually, we both noticed the road had widened and slowly looked up right about the time I had started to wonder why we had not yet seen Richmond. The large, wide sign announcing Washington DC was ahead of us brought us starkly to the realization that we had managed to drive 33 miles back NORTH on 95, the most hilarious part of it being that we had not even noticed!!!! This little side venture added more than an extra hour to our drive and we were too busy laughing at the absurdity of it to even care. Only Maria and I could have pulled that one off, driving the wrong direction for that long without noticing. Diana and her flight back to Chicago beat us car travelers back home, too. If anyone ever needed proof that they need sisters in their life, this would be it. In spite of the longer than necessary drive back home, I had an awesome time!
Now....here is where it gets silly...and fun. Just like when we were kids, Maria and I found another way to inject some hilarity and adventure into our existence. We left Sara's in the afternoon to head home shortly after Diana headed to the airport. We intended to make a couple stops on the way back to Ikea and Wegmans(esp. Wegmans!) so Maria plugged in her GPS and off we went. Had a grand time in both places, which offered up enough of a time delay that we basically missed the usual crawl to get out of town on 95 south. Maria has satellite radio in her car and we quickly found ourselves a way to amuse us and make the time pass by. The love channel, filled with an all you can eat buffet of the most vomit inducing sappy songs out there, just in time for Valentine's Day. We decided to make a game of it, trying to predict either the next pukey sappy song or artist coming up next at any given time and boy we were not disappointed, either. We got a dose of Air Supply, the Commodores, Anne Murray and Neil Diamond, just to name a few. After a while, we had to stop for gas since the little gas light was about to come on, so we pulled off at an exit to fill up.
I should point out that we did not exit too far off the highway, so when we were ready to resume our drive home, we took exception to the amount of miles our GPS told us to drive to get back to it. I spotted an actual road sign pointing to 95, so we chose to ignore the GPS and followed the signs. Our vomitous love song game hence re-commenced and we were quite entertained for the ensuing half hour. We noticed that the GPS kept adding time to our estimated arrival back at Maria's house and kept trying to get us to use various exits; how ridiculous! She wanted us to take a longer way home, so we thought. We continued to ignore her. Eventually, we both noticed the road had widened and slowly looked up right about the time I had started to wonder why we had not yet seen Richmond. The large, wide sign announcing Washington DC was ahead of us brought us starkly to the realization that we had managed to drive 33 miles back NORTH on 95, the most hilarious part of it being that we had not even noticed!!!! This little side venture added more than an extra hour to our drive and we were too busy laughing at the absurdity of it to even care. Only Maria and I could have pulled that one off, driving the wrong direction for that long without noticing. Diana and her flight back to Chicago beat us car travelers back home, too. If anyone ever needed proof that they need sisters in their life, this would be it. In spite of the longer than necessary drive back home, I had an awesome time!
Blessings of unplanned family visits here and there
It seems that every personal crisis that has hit me so far this year, has been buffered by unexpected blessings. One such blessing was the unplanned visit into town by Mom & Ed right before my trip to Pittsburgh. Although that came with its own dramatic flair, the upside of it was that I got to spend time with them that I wasn't expecting to, and that was a wonderful thing, a much needed boost to my spirits. Not only that, but my sister Sara came down here for a night, so I got to meet my nephew Owen, who is sweet and perfect and perfectly wonderful. We ended up congregating at Maria's house for a spell, which led to some picture opportunities such as these:
better late than never..Pittsburgh!
So much for my intention to write whenever the mood strikes..here it is a month after the fact and I am only now writing about my weekend in Pittsburgh for the Super Bowl, a trip to my favorite city that was brought about by the generosity of my wonderful cousin Will. He spent flyer miles so I could fly up for free and watch the Super Bowl from Pittsburgh, something that meant more than I could put into words. This year has begun with another stressfest and going to Pgh was a respite for me that I am immensely grateful for.
Will and Alicia met me at the airport, Will sporting his inflatable helmet much to Alicia's chagrin. I however, loved such a welcome!!!
I was warmed inside with excitement at the sight of black & gold everywhere, starting with inside of the airport. There is such a pride and intense love for the Steelers in Pittsburgh and you can feel it in the air.
Will, Alicia and I headed down to one of my favorite spots downtown after we got some lunch at the Sharp Edge..the Strip district. This is more than just a location downtown, it is an experience, especially during the postseason. There was literally black & gold and Steelers pride everywhere you turned. Gobs of people, shopping for as much Steelers merchandise as they could find. I spotted cars with black & gold paper confetti on them, Steelers fight songs blaring at every store front, people dressed for the occasion but everyone sharing a common link, their love and support for the Steelers and pride that we had made another Super Bowl.
That night, Karen joined us and met up with Beth & Mike at another icon downtown for dinner, Church Brew Works. This place is magnificent inside, being a former cathedral style church but now houses a restaurant as well as a mini brewery inside, and this weekend, it was decked out with Steeler pride (what else would you find the weekend of the Super Bowl with Pgh playing?) The food was outstanding and the company even better.
We met up with Beth & Mike again in the morning for breakfast before Will & I headed over so I could visit with Aunt Aileen & Uncle Jon for a while. Again, more black & gold everywhere...all the employees at the pancake house were dressed for the Steelers, almost all the customers dressed for the Steelers, I multitasked with my Penguins jersey over a Steelers shirt since the Pens had a game earlier in the day than the Super Bowl, hahahaha...Pittsburgh is a wonderful place to be during sports season.
Gametime was going to be spent at Will's friend Donna's house, which was thankfully in walking distance from Will's. Quite nice for us because Will and I went to Donna's armed with a cooler of beer. I had in my mug a nice serving of limoncello, which is like lemonhead candy for adults, in liquid form, hahahaha...yummy AND festive!
Karen and Alicia good-naturedly accompanied us, which was quite nice!
The sight of Donna's house, both inside and out, made me giddy....Steelers stuff everywhere! I think I just may need to have my wake here someday; they can just lay out my dead carcass on the couch, heeheehee....I got to meet all of Donna's brood. They are the kind of people that you can meet and suddenly you have some lifelong friends. The kind of hard working, kindhearted decent people that are so representative of the population in Pittsburgh. Real, caring people, and they so graciously opened their home and hearts to me. What a blessing to know people like this! I could not have found a better place to watch the Super Bowl than here, and could not have found better people. Pittsburgh is a special place full of special people.
I had such a wonderful time that night that it took the sting off a Steelers loss. I did, however, mentally put football away in my mind before I could get too bummed out about the final score, but truth be told, my boys played like crap and deserved to lose, as painful as that is to admit. But we'll be back next year. I believe in my Steelers, always.
Will and Alicia met me at the airport, Will sporting his inflatable helmet much to Alicia's chagrin. I however, loved such a welcome!!!
I was warmed inside with excitement at the sight of black & gold everywhere, starting with inside of the airport. There is such a pride and intense love for the Steelers in Pittsburgh and you can feel it in the air.
Will, Alicia and I headed down to one of my favorite spots downtown after we got some lunch at the Sharp Edge..the Strip district. This is more than just a location downtown, it is an experience, especially during the postseason. There was literally black & gold and Steelers pride everywhere you turned. Gobs of people, shopping for as much Steelers merchandise as they could find. I spotted cars with black & gold paper confetti on them, Steelers fight songs blaring at every store front, people dressed for the occasion but everyone sharing a common link, their love and support for the Steelers and pride that we had made another Super Bowl.
That night, Karen joined us and met up with Beth & Mike at another icon downtown for dinner, Church Brew Works. This place is magnificent inside, being a former cathedral style church but now houses a restaurant as well as a mini brewery inside, and this weekend, it was decked out with Steeler pride (what else would you find the weekend of the Super Bowl with Pgh playing?) The food was outstanding and the company even better.
We met up with Beth & Mike again in the morning for breakfast before Will & I headed over so I could visit with Aunt Aileen & Uncle Jon for a while. Again, more black & gold everywhere...all the employees at the pancake house were dressed for the Steelers, almost all the customers dressed for the Steelers, I multitasked with my Penguins jersey over a Steelers shirt since the Pens had a game earlier in the day than the Super Bowl, hahahaha...Pittsburgh is a wonderful place to be during sports season.
Gametime was going to be spent at Will's friend Donna's house, which was thankfully in walking distance from Will's. Quite nice for us because Will and I went to Donna's armed with a cooler of beer. I had in my mug a nice serving of limoncello, which is like lemonhead candy for adults, in liquid form, hahahaha...yummy AND festive!
Karen and Alicia good-naturedly accompanied us, which was quite nice!
The sight of Donna's house, both inside and out, made me giddy....Steelers stuff everywhere! I think I just may need to have my wake here someday; they can just lay out my dead carcass on the couch, heeheehee....I got to meet all of Donna's brood. They are the kind of people that you can meet and suddenly you have some lifelong friends. The kind of hard working, kindhearted decent people that are so representative of the population in Pittsburgh. Real, caring people, and they so graciously opened their home and hearts to me. What a blessing to know people like this! I could not have found a better place to watch the Super Bowl than here, and could not have found better people. Pittsburgh is a special place full of special people.
I had such a wonderful time that night that it took the sting off a Steelers loss. I did, however, mentally put football away in my mind before I could get too bummed out about the final score, but truth be told, my boys played like crap and deserved to lose, as painful as that is to admit. But we'll be back next year. I believe in my Steelers, always.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Give us this day, our daily bread
I went to make my son some sandwiches the other day for his lunch and I was greeted with a bowl full of bread bags, each containing 1 or 3 slices of bread. The 3 finalists are usually both ends of the loaf and one stray inner slice. So I got to wondering...your typical sandwich uses 2 slices of bread. Most people, unless they are getting fancy, do not normally stack any higher than 2 slices. So, why is it that all the bread manufacturers package their loaves with an odd number of slices? Is it really so difficult to ask the slicing machines to slice in even numbers? One would think that given all the technological wonders that our generation has access to, that someone out there could build a slicing machine that slices in even numbers. Unless you have teenage boys eating you out of house and home, that lonely, last slice is going to be stale, or better yet, moldy, by the time you go through another loaf to find its soulmate. I do happen to have a teenage boy, but I also have kids, who, like many others, aren't so crazy about the end slices of the loaf. It is much more difficult to eat AROUND the crust (if you're picky that way) when the slice IS the crust. Therefore, it does not occur, nor appeal to them, to make themselves a half sandwich to put that lonely piece of bread out of its misery. Not only am I trying to raise 3 children here, apparently I am also the warden running an orphanage for wayward bread slices. Just what I need, another unpaid, thankless job, yeehaw.
I guess I will need to take pity on the lonely slices that pine away in my kitchen and start enjoying a half sandwich from time to time. Perhaps a nice, half PB & J with a glass of milk will be my snack this afternoon. Bon Appétit!
I guess I will need to take pity on the lonely slices that pine away in my kitchen and start enjoying a half sandwich from time to time. Perhaps a nice, half PB & J with a glass of milk will be my snack this afternoon. Bon Appétit!
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Bless my heart, I think I've become a southern girl
I realized something this morning. I don't like being cold. I have lived in NC for just a trace over 3 years now and I have become very enchanted with the hotter weather here. I love when it's over 90 and I can run around in just a pair of shorts and a cami. I love that I seldom feel the need to wear socks anymore. The sun and heat feel wonderful to me. But, I have to ask myself...what happened to my Yankee blood??? I used to be stronger than this!
I have spent most of my life up north, living with snow and blustery temps, happy to bundle up and pile on the layers of hats, scarves, warm mittens, heavy coat, boots...18 inches of snow on the ground? No problem! I lived in houses with radiators that I could drape all the winter gear over to dry them after being outside. Driving in snow and sleet? I can handle that! I scoffed at the folks who aren't used to it and can't drive in it...
But now? We have had several days now of more northern-like temps, most of the state actually getting hit with snow, my area getting the ice and freezing rain. The air here has felt like the "good ol'days"...and I don't like it! I don't even have a snowbrush in my car right now, mainly because I can't find it. I suspect it walked out on me from being ignored for too many months. I walk outside to get the mail and I come back inside shivering. The cold mocks me now. The snow rake that is being stored up in the attic because we just don't need to use it anymore, is up there communing with the cobwebs and counting splinters on the rafters. It suffers from chronic neglect. I am running an island for misfit winter toys and tools here.
Now, I do confess, the several inches of snow we did get the day after Christmas..THAT I was very happy about. Why? My Yankee blood is in hiding but it is not completely gone. I don't like green Christmases. It makes me crazy to have to listen to songs on the radio about white christmas and sleigh rides when it is green everywhere. However, that was enough winter for me. I am ready for it to be gone. I love my sweaters but I am ready for bare legs and shorts again and the chance to ambush my kids with the super soaker water guns.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make myself some tea and warm up again.
I have spent most of my life up north, living with snow and blustery temps, happy to bundle up and pile on the layers of hats, scarves, warm mittens, heavy coat, boots...18 inches of snow on the ground? No problem! I lived in houses with radiators that I could drape all the winter gear over to dry them after being outside. Driving in snow and sleet? I can handle that! I scoffed at the folks who aren't used to it and can't drive in it...
But now? We have had several days now of more northern-like temps, most of the state actually getting hit with snow, my area getting the ice and freezing rain. The air here has felt like the "good ol'days"...and I don't like it! I don't even have a snowbrush in my car right now, mainly because I can't find it. I suspect it walked out on me from being ignored for too many months. I walk outside to get the mail and I come back inside shivering. The cold mocks me now. The snow rake that is being stored up in the attic because we just don't need to use it anymore, is up there communing with the cobwebs and counting splinters on the rafters. It suffers from chronic neglect. I am running an island for misfit winter toys and tools here.
Now, I do confess, the several inches of snow we did get the day after Christmas..THAT I was very happy about. Why? My Yankee blood is in hiding but it is not completely gone. I don't like green Christmases. It makes me crazy to have to listen to songs on the radio about white christmas and sleigh rides when it is green everywhere. However, that was enough winter for me. I am ready for it to be gone. I love my sweaters but I am ready for bare legs and shorts again and the chance to ambush my kids with the super soaker water guns.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go make myself some tea and warm up again.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Taking a journey
I realized recently that I had managed to go nearly a year and half without adding anything new here. This coincided with the chaotic realities that had taken over my life. I had reached the point a year or so ago where I no longer knew who I was, who I had become and that self awareness came accompanied with an overwhelming emptiness and sense of feeling utterly lost that I knew needed to change. It is not healthy nor productive to float through life as a shell of a human being, especially with the many blessings that remained constant in my life. So I found myself at a crossroads of sorts and have been taking a journey over the past year and half ever since, in search of recalling who I was yesterday, who I am today and who I need to and want to be tomorrow.
I have always been interested in how the rest of the world lives. I was lucky enough during high school that my mom hosted exchange students during the summers and that fueled my love of learning other languages and about other cultures. I even got to spend time during college living and taking classes in Italy and visiting my international friends in France and Spain. Upon my return to the US, I discovered the infancy of the internet and was enchanted with how it let you connect with other people all over the globe in ways never before possible. While my years of being married and having children managed to deeply bury this part of me, this passion, it never completely disappeared.
Thus, when I joined facebook and starting playing a silly but fun game on it, I re-discovered my passion for connecting with other parts of the world. I have many international friends on my gaming list, some of whom have become dear and real friends to me. In it, I found a part of myself awakened and I found a place I could decompress from the stresses in my real life, a place that felt safe to me. I began to once again recognize some of the many blessings that both entered my life and those that were there all along. One of the biggest unexpected blessings for me came a year ago, on my way home from visiting family in Pittsburgh. I met this guy in army fatigues in the airport in Baltimore who was waiting on the same connecting flight as my sister and I. He was enough of a gentleman to offer me the seat next to me so I didn't have to stand to watch playoff football...you know me and sports. When I noticed him playing mafia wars, I couldn't resist commenting that I also played, and we friended each other for gaming.
It could have ended there, but since it was a novelty that I actually met a gaming friend in person, I helped him whenever I saw him on my facebook feed and one day, we started chatting. Over time, we became friends. It kind of started as a joke but Grant decided one day to "adopt" me as his little sister, and that is the slant our friendship has taken ever since, and one that works for me, because growing up I hated being the oldest and had always wanted a big brother. So, if you ever see or hear me refer to my brother, I am talking about Grant, and I really do think of him as my big brother, and he is a tremendous blessing to me. One day, our conversation turned to how I had lost faith in nearly everything from my years of struggling to cope with the impact a special needs child had on my life, and how overwhelmingly lost I felt. Grant invited me to attend church with him and his family one day last year and there, I came to find a sort of peace that I had not felt in a long time. I realized that any sort of personal journey would not be complete, nor relevant, if I didn't take it hand in hand with a spiritual one. I have been attending church ever since and it is something that gives me a respite from my stresses, even if for just a couple hours. My spiritual journey has had its ups and downs but I am still working on it. My quest to figure out God's place in my life and what He wants for me is very much a work in progress. I am also taking a bible study class that I have been enjoying a lot, and along with attending church, it has helped keep me going when I want to crawl into a hole and disappear, which has occurred more often than not. I have been falling into a proverbial ravine and clawing my way out for many years now, and even while some ravines have been deeper than others, I have kept climbing out and am determined not to leave the ravines behind in favor of an abyss. I have become too cranky and cynical to give up, so I keep fighting to survive, one day at a time. I discovered that I do best when I do so, living for today and not projecting too far ahead. That point of view may seem shortsighted to some, but for the time being, it helps keep my anxiety level from overwhelming me.
I am planning to take my blog in a different direction than before, when it was mainly a newsletter of sorts. When I feel my inner muse, I will write here, and I will use this space to document my personal journey and hopefully find my true purpose here on this planet. I know God has something in mind for me but I have not figured out yet what it is, or maybe I have not yet learned to quiet my mind to hear it. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. If you're still reading this, thank you for not giving up on me and know you are one of my many blessings.
I have always been interested in how the rest of the world lives. I was lucky enough during high school that my mom hosted exchange students during the summers and that fueled my love of learning other languages and about other cultures. I even got to spend time during college living and taking classes in Italy and visiting my international friends in France and Spain. Upon my return to the US, I discovered the infancy of the internet and was enchanted with how it let you connect with other people all over the globe in ways never before possible. While my years of being married and having children managed to deeply bury this part of me, this passion, it never completely disappeared.
Thus, when I joined facebook and starting playing a silly but fun game on it, I re-discovered my passion for connecting with other parts of the world. I have many international friends on my gaming list, some of whom have become dear and real friends to me. In it, I found a part of myself awakened and I found a place I could decompress from the stresses in my real life, a place that felt safe to me. I began to once again recognize some of the many blessings that both entered my life and those that were there all along. One of the biggest unexpected blessings for me came a year ago, on my way home from visiting family in Pittsburgh. I met this guy in army fatigues in the airport in Baltimore who was waiting on the same connecting flight as my sister and I. He was enough of a gentleman to offer me the seat next to me so I didn't have to stand to watch playoff football...you know me and sports. When I noticed him playing mafia wars, I couldn't resist commenting that I also played, and we friended each other for gaming.
It could have ended there, but since it was a novelty that I actually met a gaming friend in person, I helped him whenever I saw him on my facebook feed and one day, we started chatting. Over time, we became friends. It kind of started as a joke but Grant decided one day to "adopt" me as his little sister, and that is the slant our friendship has taken ever since, and one that works for me, because growing up I hated being the oldest and had always wanted a big brother. So, if you ever see or hear me refer to my brother, I am talking about Grant, and I really do think of him as my big brother, and he is a tremendous blessing to me. One day, our conversation turned to how I had lost faith in nearly everything from my years of struggling to cope with the impact a special needs child had on my life, and how overwhelmingly lost I felt. Grant invited me to attend church with him and his family one day last year and there, I came to find a sort of peace that I had not felt in a long time. I realized that any sort of personal journey would not be complete, nor relevant, if I didn't take it hand in hand with a spiritual one. I have been attending church ever since and it is something that gives me a respite from my stresses, even if for just a couple hours. My spiritual journey has had its ups and downs but I am still working on it. My quest to figure out God's place in my life and what He wants for me is very much a work in progress. I am also taking a bible study class that I have been enjoying a lot, and along with attending church, it has helped keep me going when I want to crawl into a hole and disappear, which has occurred more often than not. I have been falling into a proverbial ravine and clawing my way out for many years now, and even while some ravines have been deeper than others, I have kept climbing out and am determined not to leave the ravines behind in favor of an abyss. I have become too cranky and cynical to give up, so I keep fighting to survive, one day at a time. I discovered that I do best when I do so, living for today and not projecting too far ahead. That point of view may seem shortsighted to some, but for the time being, it helps keep my anxiety level from overwhelming me.
I am planning to take my blog in a different direction than before, when it was mainly a newsletter of sorts. When I feel my inner muse, I will write here, and I will use this space to document my personal journey and hopefully find my true purpose here on this planet. I know God has something in mind for me but I have not figured out yet what it is, or maybe I have not yet learned to quiet my mind to hear it. When I figure it out, I'll let you know. If you're still reading this, thank you for not giving up on me and know you are one of my many blessings.
Kids, that M stands for MOM, not the MAID...
to my dear children,
I will love you unconditionally, feed you, clothe you, be sympathetic when you are sick and do what I can to support you and cheer for you. I will go to bat for you in a worthy cause and I would be willing to trade in my life for yours if ever needed. However.....I am not your butler, I do not run a diner, (if you do not like what I cooked, you know where to find the cereal or sandwich fixins), nor do I offer room service of any kind. I am not your valet and I do not carry a beeper around with me....I am not on call for you. If I occasionally behave like your chauffeur, it is at my personal convenience, not yours. God gave you talents and abilities and a brain. Please use them. 2 of you are high school teenagers and the other one of you starts middle school next year. I have faith in you that you can figure it out.
If you complain about boredom, too bad. I am not your personal cruise director. You have far more choices in front of you than I ever did. If you insist on choosing to be bored, I will be happy to provide you with a toilet brush or mop (or both) to distract you from your tedious existence.
If you whine and complain, kindly take note that my hearing aid no longer functions correctly and I may feel compelled to shove a piece of cheese into your mouth to soak up the whine. The complaint department has also been eliminated due to budget cuts; it's called one of life's cruel lessons...time to discover the usefulness of learning to adapt to your environment. Darwin's rule figured this out and you can, too.
If you are thirsty, you know where to find the drinking glasses. I can assure you that I pay our water bill every month, the faucets will pour out a drink if you just lift the handle. The magic of that still works even when you reach the ages of 16, 14 and 10. If you are hungry and it's not dinnertime, you know where the refrigerator and pantry are. You are old enough to use the stove safely and I promise you, the dishwasher functions perfectly. You will also always be able to find dishsoap available for handwashing the rest. As much as we all pine away for and long for the Kitchen Fairy to come and take away our messes, she is real as the Great Pumpkin. Get over it.
Love, Mom
I will love you unconditionally, feed you, clothe you, be sympathetic when you are sick and do what I can to support you and cheer for you. I will go to bat for you in a worthy cause and I would be willing to trade in my life for yours if ever needed. However.....I am not your butler, I do not run a diner, (if you do not like what I cooked, you know where to find the cereal or sandwich fixins), nor do I offer room service of any kind. I am not your valet and I do not carry a beeper around with me....I am not on call for you. If I occasionally behave like your chauffeur, it is at my personal convenience, not yours. God gave you talents and abilities and a brain. Please use them. 2 of you are high school teenagers and the other one of you starts middle school next year. I have faith in you that you can figure it out.
If you complain about boredom, too bad. I am not your personal cruise director. You have far more choices in front of you than I ever did. If you insist on choosing to be bored, I will be happy to provide you with a toilet brush or mop (or both) to distract you from your tedious existence.
If you whine and complain, kindly take note that my hearing aid no longer functions correctly and I may feel compelled to shove a piece of cheese into your mouth to soak up the whine. The complaint department has also been eliminated due to budget cuts; it's called one of life's cruel lessons...time to discover the usefulness of learning to adapt to your environment. Darwin's rule figured this out and you can, too.
If you are thirsty, you know where to find the drinking glasses. I can assure you that I pay our water bill every month, the faucets will pour out a drink if you just lift the handle. The magic of that still works even when you reach the ages of 16, 14 and 10. If you are hungry and it's not dinnertime, you know where the refrigerator and pantry are. You are old enough to use the stove safely and I promise you, the dishwasher functions perfectly. You will also always be able to find dishsoap available for handwashing the rest. As much as we all pine away for and long for the Kitchen Fairy to come and take away our messes, she is real as the Great Pumpkin. Get over it.
Love, Mom
Thursday, September 10, 2009
FOOTBALL TIME, BABY!!!!! ABOUT TIME, TOO!!
My Steelers are in da house again!!!! We're in the first quarter so far...0-0...
I am so happy!!! HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!!
I am so happy!!! HERE WE GO STEELERS, HERE WE GO!!!
Monday, September 7, 2009
Girls Night Out!!!!
Maria's good high school friend Faye was in town for the weekend, and I know her, too, so Maria arranged for some girly fun out on the town. Our friend Tracy met up with us, too, driving to my house and I drove up to meet up with Maria and Faye. Of course, I had to drive my new Bug!! =) We went up to Chapel Hill and had dinner up there, then went to a coffeehouse, which was more like a restaurant/bar to have some wine. It was so awesome to have a reason to dress up for something and we had a blast!! I really hope we can do this again soon! thank you to Chris for keeping the kids so I could get out of the house!
Tracy and Maria
me and Faye
the 4 of us after some wine... =)
love my purple dress!
my sassy shoes and sort of sloppy nails..hahahaha...
Tracy and Maria
me and Faye
the 4 of us after some wine... =)
love my purple dress!
my sassy shoes and sort of sloppy nails..hahahaha...
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